18 The paradox of respect Despite all good intentions, getting respect is increasingly difficult, because one always has to scamper through the undistinguished crowd. Despite all cautions, it is also increasingly difficult to avoid disrespecting someone. Worse still: the more we strive to be noticed, leaving our digital traces everywhere, the more we risk offending someone. By dint of looking at how others look at us looking at them, we may lose sight of what really matters. Thus, the obsession with respect risks fomenting the widespread feeling of not being enough. Sigmund Freud knew that the desire to meet others’ expectations, internalised as ideals, can lead to neurosis. Against all individualistic views, the Diversity & Inclusion proponents instead advocate a culture of generalised respect, aimed at recognising human dignity and fair treatment of minorities in terms of culture, gender, sexual orientation and social background. Behind the good intentions, lies also a very pragmatic need: managing the tensions that can arise from a multicultural reality, where community fragmentation continually risks translating into conflict, as when rappers’ dissing leads to a deadly escalation. What some call political correctness is nothing but the communicative ethics of a collectivity willing to avoid civil war. It is hard to live together, as long as respect is not there. In such a context, the ability to interact respectfully with others requires mastery of cultural differences and a certain linguistic caution in order to avoid stereotypes, prejudices, and offensive terms. This issue is closely tied to the notion of pride in one's own differentness, at the intersection of uniqueness and belonging. This issue is also key within companies. In recent years, those involved in management and human resources have indeed noticed that the new generations are seeking symbolic satisfactions alongside economic ones: beyond a salary, in fact, they are also striving for respect. Being recognised and valorised is fundamental for the well-being and motivation of employees. A culture of respect is spreading, capable of embracing women and men and non-binary individuals, persons of all ages, ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender identities, physical and mental abilities, religious beliefs, socio-economic backgrounds and languages, and then flora and fauna, geological entities, technical objects, and perhaps one day, artificial intelligences too. Basically, a scale of values in which everything holds the same exact value. This challenge brings forth all the paradoxes of the concept of respect. Can we still speak of a 'scale' of values if this scale is horizontal, like an airport treadmill? Are we truly capable of equally appreciating each and every person and thing, from the humblest of human beings to the most exotic of fish species? Or, on the contrary, behind our fine words, does the logic of respect remain profoundly vertical, condemning us to an increasingly fierce competition to grab that scant resource that is the gaze of others? The layering of such diverse meanings cannot but generate an infinity of contradictions, in which we are immersed up to our necks.
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